Following through with things,

It feels real damn good to follow through with things.  I do feel more confident and feel like I have a stronger sense of integrity now that I keep my word and go through with the things I said I would go through with.

I have had issues in the past with saying “yes” to a lot of things I shouldn’t have said yes to.  I would often flake and run away from the things I said “yes” to because I would feel overwhelmed and intimidated by them.  I think that really affected the confidence I had in my self.  I think it made me take myself a lot less seriously and in turn made me flake out even more.

After Omega Vector I learned that the core issue I had was discipline and following through with the things I said I would do.

On the last day of Omega Vector I had made it my goal to meditate for at least 5 minutes everyday for 30 days.  It would be my way of regaining confidence in my words and my self along with instilling more discipline within myself.

Ah yes, it just feels so good once you know that you WILL do the things you say you will.  I know that may sound kind of odd to many of you but it’s such a liberating and feel good statement for myself.  Say goodbye to a life of unfinished business and broken promises. :)

How to achieve a happy and abundant reality


I believe the secret to life in current society is to love yourself and to have confidence in yourself, this seriously should be commonsense but it apparently isn’t.

And when I say love yourself, I don’t mean the narcissistic ego-centric kind of love for yourself, but appreciating and being grateful for being a living, breathing, and conscious being.  To forgive yourself when you make mistakes, to overcome the negative self talk that you give to yourself when you feel like a failure.  Letting yourself know that you are worth something and are here to provide value in some way whether it be seemingly “big” or “small”.

I really do think that if everyone in this world was able to truly love themselves, the world would be a better place.  If you’re able to love yourself, you’ll have gained the capacity to also truly love others.

I’ve been fortunate enough to experience both sides on the spectrum, from self hatred to unconditional self love.  I can definitely say that life was much more pleasant when I was able to unconditionally love myself.  During the time I had that mindset, I was at the top of my game in manifesting everything and anything I desired.  It was unbelievable….. Like, I almost couldn’t believe it at first.  It was so easy too!!! I don’t care what anybody says but  from my experience your thoughts really do create your reality.  It all started with changing how I was inside, my mindset!  And that in turn created outward ripples that affected me externally (my physical environment)! I made the most progress in terms of achieving the goals I had set for myself at that time.  I was manifesting things left and right.  I felt like I had a limitless amount of courage, drive, motivation and confidence.  I felt invincible. I was also the most confident, nicest and most positive person I and also many other people I had come in contact with, had ever met. IT WAS ALL SO FUCKING COOL, I TELL YOU. IT WAS PURE BLISS!!

Sometime between that and now, I started spiraling downwards again.. I’m not quite sure what exactly set it off initially… Now that I think about it, I actually have a feeling it may be because I felt guilty about having done something.  But what I did realize just today after listening to Audio 6 of the Abundance Paradigm, the root cause of most of my sadness and depression from the past year or so…. Was that I started to slowly hate myself…. And that in turn, transformed me into a more pessimistic and condescending person.  I know that when I start looking for flaws in other people or just blatantly look down upon others and judge their life decisions,  I was actually just projecting my own insecurities and hate towards myself in a subconscious manner.  To put it in others words, I subconsciously saw my failures and mistakes in other people and that made me hate/judge them.  Which actually translates to me hating and causing harm to myself mentally/emotionally/spiritually.

I know when I’m feeling judgmental and condescending, I’m feeling insecure. And I know that when I’m feeling insecure, I’m not feeling confident in myself.  And I know that when I’m not feeling confident in myself, I’m hating and putting myself down.

And you know what the cure is for all of that pessimism and self hatred?

DING DING DING! It is a shift in perspective! A change in your mindset.To be more optimistic and to love yourself!

Love yourself as a work in progress, let yourself know that you love yourself but there is always room for improvement!
Life is all about learning new things and having wonderful experiences!

I believe with that shift in mindset, it would make life much more pleasant along with accomplishing things much more easy!
With all that love and confidence you have in yourself, you’ll have the courage, drive and motivation to pursue whatever you wished!
What more could you ask for in life?

I realized all of this just now.  I have experienced being the happiest I could be and accomplishing all the things I wanted before but I was just doing it and I didn’t know why things worked out for me so well.

I think for me to experience hell once more was a much needed experience and lesson for me to wholesomely learn how important it is to love myself.

I wanted to share my insight/revelation/catharsis of sorts on the blog in hopes that it will probably shed some light on some problems a reader might be having!

I want to give a warm thanks and lots of love to my boyfriend Mike.  IF YOU’RE READING THIS MIKE, I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL THE LOTS AND AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PRESENCE, INSPIRATION, CARE, PATIENCE AND LOVE IN MY LIFE.  I had been feeling down this evening and he sensed it and wanted to comfort me.  His hug while I was in the kitchen washing the dishes with frustration and sadness triggered me to cry (I rarely cry) and really take some thought into evaluating why I’ve been feeling so sad and down.  I found myself opening up to him about my feelings and thoughts from the past few days and within all of that I partially figured out what I was doing wrong in life.  I figured out that I felt disappointed in myself and saw my failures in other people.  Afterwards I sat myself down and decided to read because I really do feel that the answers to some of life’s questions are found in books.  Then I remembered that the last free day for the Money Mindfest was today and the topic covered “Eliminating Limiting Beliefs About Money” (kinda off topic but not really).  Recognizing that I do have some mental blocks and limiting beliefs about money I decided to give it a listen.  Around 20 minutes in he says that to be in a place of abundance you must come from love.  And the first thing you gotta learn to do if you haven’t already, is to love yourself. And then all the puzzle pieces for me connected.  And it all just really hit me………………….. And now I know what I must do to get to that blissful and abundant mindset I had over a year ago.

Learning how to truly love yourself will rid you of all your insecurities, jealousies, hatred, pessimism, etc.
All of those negative feelings that just make you feel like absolute, pardon my french, shit.

So in conclusion, to achieve a blissful mindset and create an abundant reality, you must TRULY LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.
Everything, I promise you, everything will fall into place after that.
Life will be much more joyful and you will feel completely invincible once you learn how to forgive, be kind and love yourself.

Damn, such a simple solution to such a huge problem amongst many people these days.  Funny how life works sometimes, isn’t it?

You’re not an extra part

Didn’t realize that I’d actually cry after watching this video. I also didn’t think I’d find a meaningful message in it. I just wanted to watch videos of dogs surfing. But really, wow. This is a beautiful representation of all the wonderful things that could happen if you were to be who you are and did the things you love and truly let yourself shine. Instead of forcing yourself into a mold that you just couldn’t fit into. Also, another message I derived from the video was that I saw how each and every one of us has a purpose in the world, no matter how small or big it was, we all have a purpose and are interconnected.  Like for example, Ricochet is a dog that now inspires hundreds and thousands of others, this particular video has over 4 million views.  That’s a whole lot of impressions.  In turn, a percentage of those people were probably inspired to the point where they decide to make some decisions that might greatly alter the current path of their lives.  In turn, that percentage of people will have an impact on the people around them and percentage of those people may make some decisions that greatly impact those closest to them. And it can go on and on and on.

Or another example that isn’t too based on hypothetical assumptions, Ricochet inspired the quadriplegic boy Patrick to surf. She helped counterbalance the board and guided him while he was out there in the ocean.  And you know, I’m sure to be able to go out there into the ocean and surf, whilst being a quadriplegic really altered your reality.  To be living most of your life confined to a wheelchair and all of a sudden you’re out there on the ocean without your wheelchair, surfing?? Dude, that would totally shatter your concept of reality.  In turn I’m sure his story has inspired other quadriplegics and even non-quadriplegics that you have the capacity to do amazing things that you initially thought you couldn’t do, as long as you believed you can.  And you know, without the help of Ricochet, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to surf, and in turn wouldn’t have had that memory and experience to inspire others into doing things that they thought they could’ve never done.  I wish I was able to articulate this in better manner, but it really got me feeling how every one of us plays a part in the lives of everybody else.  No matter how big or small, our actions have the potential to have an infinite amount of impact on others.  Kind of like how within the ecosystem each species has an impact on the whole ecosystem, if one species dies, it’s death creates this chain reaction effect,  most of the time if not all the time, negatively impacting the ecosystem.  You know, that really does make you feel that you are apart of something bigger than just yourself.  That you are important and that you have a specific place and purpose in this world. A quote from one of my favorite movies, “Hugo” articulates this idea very well,

“I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too.”

Okay to give out another example now, a much more personal example, of how our actions have the potential to greatly impact others. If it wasn’t for my friend Nathan to want to go out to the beach and surf along with teach me how to surf, I wouldn’t have gotten over my fear of the ocean and also wouldn’t have experienced the amazing feeling it is to just be in the present moment in the here and now, while I was out there in the water.  In turn, if it wasn’t for my happy experience with surfing, I wouldn’t have woke up in the morning googling up surf related things.  In turn, I wouldn’t have found this inspiring video of Ricochet. In turn, I wouldn’t have felt inspired enough to write a long blog post about how I really did felt that we all have a purpose in this world, no matter how big or small, along with other ideas I gathered from the video.  Who knows…… unless you’re really tracking every action I make, but I really do feel this video had a pretty big impact on me and my ideas.  So you can say in a way, if it weren’t for making the decision to go out and surf for the first time, I wouldn’t be on this newly carved path that I am now. And you know, I am very determined to create a great and positive impact on this world… And I can’t say that the sole fact of having a good experience while I was out there in the ocean is why I want to make a positive impact on the world but I can say that it was definitely now one of the contributing factors to it.

Another realization I just had: all the good (and bad) I do in this world, is really, credit to every single person that has had an impact and impression upon me.  And so…….. this makes me realize even more that I have to be quite mindful of my actions.  I only want to behave in a way that would positively effect others around me. Sigh, life is just a series of reactions to one another, huh! How crazily wonderful is that? As you can tell, I’m a big advocate on the concept of the butterfly effect.  How one small initial action, can result in a much larger difference down the line. Woooooow, right? Right. And I’m rambling, but I hope any of you, who have read this, takes something positive out of it! :)

I am so grateful for this world and all that it has provided for me.  It has really made me want to leave this world better than how it was when I came into it.

Advice to the Young – Patti Smith

“Build a good name. Keep your name clean. Don’t make compromises, don’t worry about making a bunch of money or being successful. Be concerned about doing good work. Protect your work and if you build a good name, eventually that name will be its own currency. Life is like a roller coaster ride, it is never going to be perfect. It is going to have perfect moments and rough spots, but it’s all worth it”

The Cure for an Existential Crisis

The one most important thing I’ve learned in life so far is to have and set defined goals for yourself. Because it’s kinda hard to fucking know WHERE to go or what to do if you don’t know where you generally WANT to be in the first place. That’s what I learned from that 1 year existential crisis I had been going through this past year.

Pick something you’re interested in, anything, seriously, ANYTHING, sky’s the limit baby, and then figure out how you will go about accomplishing it. If you really wanted it, you will find the ability within yourself to achieve it. And then all the pieces will just follow afterwards. Because just sitting there and pondering about what you want to do with your life, will not help at all. It will just lead to more confusion and frustration. Trust me, I did that for a whole year and it did not work.

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”

Okie, have a great rest of your day guys! <3 :3

Best Video Ever on Formatting in CSS

OKAY. So I’ve been learning HTML/CSS on and off (mainly off) for the past year (years if you count me trying to figure out how to do shit back in 2003 when I was trying to customize my layouts on neopets) …. And I’m pretty familiar with the tags, but the one thing that I just never really understood was formatting in CSS.  It was just the most confusing thing for me… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY. I’ve gone through a whole textbook (Head First into HTML/CSS) and formatting still didn’t get through my head.

So today I decided to focus more on HTML/CSS instead of RoR and shadowed Mike building the website.  Now that I am pretty well acquainted with what the HTML tags and CSS properties does, it was pretty easy for me to understand what Mike was doing when it punched in all that code.  I learn a lot quicker when I observe people doing things rather than reading a lesson from a textbook.  So shadowing Mike today helped me very much in understanding how building a website was like. YAAAAAAAY! Lots of love towards Mike for being so patient with me and keeping up with my incessant questioning. ;)

Anywho, back to my problem with not knowing how to format.  I decided to really tackle that problem and learn how to format ONCE AND FOR ALL.  In my search for enlightenment, I decided to look up on youtube for videos talking about it since you know… I learned quicker by watching……. AND BAM I FOUND THE PERFECT VIDEO THAT JUST REALLY HIT THE SPOT AND GOT ME TO UNDERSTAND. The narrator is quite entertaining too, he wasn’t dry and monotonous, so that helped a load.

Now I have a better understanding of how formatting works and will attempt to create a static single pager by the end of tonight! HURRAH!!! THANK YOU PROGRAMMINGHELPORG!!!

Update: 23:42 – I have a achieved a simple one pager with full width browser bars. I am still trying to figure out what the best method is to create full width bars…….. I am also still learning how to master padding and margin. I’m using both of these tutorials for full width bars here and here as reference.  Damn it, this is getting me so excited it’s difficult to sleep.  SOON I WILL BE CREATING BEAUTIFUL WEBSITES LEFT AND RIGHT WITH EASE!!!!

Update: 02:09 – Sweet niblets, it’s getting late, and I’ve been spending the past 2 hours figuring out how to make a parallax scrolling page. I copied and pasted the javascript that ultimately created that scrolling illusion.  I currently don’t know much about javascript, but  I aim to learn more about it and create some sweet sweet magic with it.  Alright, it’s getting late, I’ve been trying to figure out how to center the text in my fixed header. I realized the problem is because the header div’s position is fixed, thus makes it impossible for me to center the text within it (at least it seems impossible to me at the moment, I deleted the fixed position and was able to center the text but the thing is I want my header to be fixed!! So I’m going to have to figure out a way to keep my fixed header and also have centered text, I have an idea on how to fix it now but it really is getting late….. I’ll do it tomorrow morning. ) Here’s what my parallax scrolling page looks like at the moment.

Fuck an Existential Crisis,


For the past few months I’ve been having well, an “existential crisis”.  Questioning myself everyday about what I wanted to do with my life along with what my purpose in life was, exactly.  It was very frustrating to say the least.  I was on a trip in the UK when I realized, that I should just seriously pick something I am interested and go for it.  I realized that sitting around all day wondering what I SHOULD be doing would just lead to more confusion and feelings of “lostness”, and so the only way to get unstuck is to actually go out and do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, because it would lead me somewhere, anywhere but where I currently was.  I was online reading a quote talking about action…. I forgot which one, it said something about sitting there wasn’t going to produce any results. Oh wait, I found it, “ACTION is THE KEY to SUCCESS. Absolutely nothing is more important than being proactive. No amount of positive thinking, studying, reading books, attending webinars (although these things are important) will EVER substitute your taking action“, it’s from the article The One Thing That Will Determine Your Success from the Startup Bros. blog! I highhhhhly recommend that article (and blog), I’ve read it more than once.

Aaaaaand so I picked web development to be something I’m going to pursue.  One of the reasons as to why I chose it was because I wanted to create something useful! Something that provided a lot of value to others. And I figured the internet was the best place to create something like that because it will reach more people that way!  While pursuing the internet for resources on how to program, I stumbled upon One Month Rails!  One thing that Mattan Griffel said that only affirmed my decision on pursuing the path towards programming was, “Society is quickly dividing into two groups of people. The first are those that know how to code. And they can manipulate the very structure of the world around us. And the second is those that don’t. And their lives are being designed and directed by those that do, every single day”.  

Another quote (as you can see, I absolutely love quotes) that also had an impact on me is the one pictured above (Stop sketching and start building) I edited that picture myself. :) It looks like it would be a cool book cover, but anywho, again, it’s a quote that emphasizes action!  Many of us tend to come up with all sorts of amazing ideas, but really, an amazing idea really isn’t amazing until you actually execute. It’s useless and just a transient thought until, so.  I stumbled upon that quote in Quora’s question to Dennis Crowley (co-founder of Dodgeball & CEO of Foursquare) “What are your top 5 pieces of advice for entrepreneurs? So, if you’re interested in startups and entrepreneurship related things, I’d highly recommend reading it! He’s got a lot of great nuggets in there!

 Yes, I will be documenting my journey here! Along with talk about self-development type stuff because that’s what I’m into too. ;)

I’m excited to create some really awesome and useful things with these new skills I’m going to attain!

Also, I would like to give lots of love to my wonderful boyfriend Mike for helping me set this site up, I love you!